In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
