in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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