Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
