Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
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