I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.