i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.