i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?