Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
