We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
