I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
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Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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