Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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