Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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