There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
