If that was your dad, he is hot
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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