Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
