I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
