I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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