first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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