She is in my trunk
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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