..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
