Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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