Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
