i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
