So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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