Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
