Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
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I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
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We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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