He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
