I wish i was in the wii world.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
