she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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