just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
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im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
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Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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