I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
