too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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