as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
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The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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