we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
