and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize