i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
