I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
