In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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