Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
