Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
honey bunches of taint.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
