I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize