So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
