No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize