It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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