Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
