Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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