saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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