i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
