I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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