i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
