Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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