I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
