Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
