am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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