Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize