but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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