He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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