kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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