Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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